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Lambert: The economics of healthy living  

UA issues gasmasks to combat secondhand smoke  

EDITORIAL CARTOON: Tom Toles: Cigarette Packs are People Too. 

GRAPHIC:

Latest from the Courts on Speech:

[A cigarette pack with a big smile on its face is smoking and walking by a person. It says,:]

"I don't have to be too explicit in my warnings!"

[Line underneath the drawing:]

Cigarette Packs are People Too.

[Small side-character in corner:]

"Blowing smoke is speech"

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• IMAGES: Letters: Dear Mr Hockney…  

[iPAD PIC of a desk, pen and pad; hellfires beyond:

Dear David

loved your funny ipad letter to the Guardian!

I'm very well.

Weather is toasty -- wish you were here :-)

yours always

Death xo]

• It is always interesting to reflect on David Hockney's views on smoking in the Guardian (Letters, 28 February). I respect his views, but I would ask that he in turn respects the general public's lungs, heart, kidneys and any other organ you might care to mention. The unnecessary illness and death caused by passive smoking is well documented – the chances of living life to the full are greater without smoking (that is not dull as Hockney suggests). My artistic abilities are basic, but I have attached a response to his letter in a picture (above).

• As a member of the medical profession, I thought Mr Hockney would appreciate a reply in the same medium (above). Jamie McConnell Chelmsford, Essex

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Tom Toles - Fall weather 

The economy of the 21st century will be based on an educated workforce. This will entail a familiarity with science and technology and the ability to recognize that peer-reviewed scientific work is a conspiracy. Employers will be looking for people to compete against foreign workers by having the skills to look online and find a Web site that tells them that entire fields of science are a hoax.

The United States is still, even in this era of budget cuts, able to turn out millions of adults ready and willing to cite obscure e-mails to prove that all scientists want is to control their lives. Adults able to seek out and find television and radio programming that gives them CLEAR, CONSISTENT misinformation that they can use to elect politicians who will turn that misinformation into policy.

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Supreme Court Overturns 'Right v. Wrong'  

Striking down the judicial precedent that established the legal supremacy of right over wrong more than two centuries ago, the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned Right v. Wrong.

The landmark reversal—a bitterly contested 5-4 decision that has been widely praised by murderers, rapists, bigots, usurers, and pro-wrong advocates nationwide—nullifies all previously lawful forms of right and makes it very difficult for Americans to make ethical decisions or be generally decent human beings without facing criminal charges.

"It is the opinion of this court that the Constitution was crafted in such a manner as to uphold and encourage practices that are not right and, ideally, are very wrong," Justice Antonin Scalia wrote for the majority, which also in­cluded Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy, and John Roberts. "Despite the compelling case for goodness, truth, and justice made by our predecessors in the case of Right v. Wrong, we firmly believe that malice, dishonesty, and injustice were the framers' original intent." . . .

Justice Stephen Breyer chose to read his dissenting opinion aloud before the court, a rare gesture apparently aimed at expressing the full measure of his disgust with the verdict.

"The court needs to overturn this ruling immediately because, simply put, it's the right thing to do," said the associate justice, who, along with his colleagues joining him in the minority, was then arrested by Capitol Police, placed into custody, and is currently awaiting trial.

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Stop Smoking Tips 

Millions of Americans are addicted to smoking. If you are among them but don't want to be, here are some tips to help you kick the habit.

Stop Smoking Tips

* Avoid doing things you associate with smoking, such as drinking, eating, walking, and being awake.

* Get thrown in jail, where cigarettes can only be acquired in exchange for painful sexual favors.

* Lobby your elected representatives to pass a $6,913 sales tax on packs of cigarettes.

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Philip Morris Introduces New Marlboro Sinus PM Cigarettes 

At a press conference Tuesday, tobacco giant Philip Morris introduced its new medicinal cigarette, Marlboro Sinus PM, a smokable nighttime cough suppressant and analgesic designed to ease cold symptoms. "Marlboro Sinus PM uses the power of acrid tobacco smoke to restore and rejuvenate," Philip Morris president William Gifford said. "Just inhale two cigarettes right before bedtime and the medicated tar goes to work by coating your mucus and packing it down deep inside your lungs. You'll wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and ready for a smoke."

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'SNL' Chantix Parody: Side Effects Of Quitting Smoking Could Be Dangerous (VIDEO) 

Once again, "SNL" turned in a winning commercial parody on Saturday, this time taking on the over ripe target of pharmaceutical side effects.

Giving up smoking is a healthy choice for you and your loved ones, but be careful which method you choose to help you quit. You could be unknowingly endangering the lives of those closest to you.

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SNL - Chantix - Real People Real Stories 

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CHARLEYWORLD: Consumers To Get The Picture On The Dangers of Cigarettes (And Who Knows What Else?)  

It was a drizzly morning in Honolulu’s Chinatown when I ducked into a rundown mom and pop store to pick up a pack of cancer sticks.

“Marlboros,” I said to the old man behind the counter.

“What kine?” he said. “Da one wit’ da black, seeping lungs or da buggah who stay smoking through da hole in his neck?”

“The ‘Lites’,” I said. “The pack with the dead dude on it.” . . .

I ordered a Coors – the one with the elk hunter in Colorado accidentally blowing his head off with his shotgun – and a three fingers of Maker’s Mark bourbon which came in a shot glass with a photo of a diseased liver that looked like a punctured football.

I could hear the rain start again outside as we clinked our drinks together.

“It’s a wonderful life!” he said.

“Yeah,” I said. “Even though nobody gets outta here alive.”

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EDITORIAL CARTOON: Smoking Ban 

Bartender, reading a newspaper with headline, "SMOKE-FREE BARS?" while a customer attached to an oxygen tank smokes heavily, near ashtrays full of butts:

"This could be UNHEALTHY for business"

When I started in working here in 1978, the newsroom was smoke-filled and although I've never smoked, my clothes reeked of tobacco each day. Several years later, our office, like so many others, became smokeless. Nowadays, I can't image what it would be like to work in a smokey environment. In our story today, the owner of  the Chatterbox Jazz Club, said he tried to ban smoking in his establishment some time ago and it was a "disaster." So after almost 30 years of second-hand smoking, he would love to see a ban.

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VIDEO: Top 6 Cain Smoking-Ad Parodies 

You thought it couldn’t have gotten any better after Herman Cain’s pizza jam, but the candidate’s new ad—complete with the Tea Party tunes, the intense close-ups of Cain’s campaign chief of staff, Mark Block, and, of course, the infamous cigarette—is even more ripe for parody. From Jon Huntsman’s smokin’ girls to Conan’s gateway drug and Stephen Colbert’s smoking gun, WATCH VIDEO of the six best parodies of Cain’s campaign ad.

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Comedians Blow Smoke at Herman Cain’s Ad  

Several late night hosts jumped on the opportunity to make a parody of Cain's ad, including Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman. Jay Leno did not mock the ad as he was joined by President Obama on Tuesday night.

Each of their spoofs has a similar punch line, featuring miscellaneous Cain staffers partaking various absurd activities. Conan O'Brien presented two alternate versions of the ad, replacing Block with an anonymous Cain supporter who drinks tequila and smokes a bong.

David Letterman's ad parody was similar to O'Brien's, showing another Cain staffer in Block's place eating a large bowl of spaghetti.

Colbert's spoofs replaced Block's cigarette break with a man drinking from a whiskey bottle, a woman huffing paint and Cain's "accountant" pretending to shoot himself in the head. Colbert also poked fun at Cain's slow-motion smile at the end of the video and challenged Cain to a "slow-smile contest," all while holding a cigarette in his hand.

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VIDEO: David Letterman - Herman Cain Campaign Ad 

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