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Molly Ivins: It's pretty tough being a smoker 

Jump to full article: Sacramento (CA) Bee, 2005-04-07
Author: Molly Ivins Published 2:15 am PDT Thursday, April 7, 2005


Editor's note: The following column was first published in August 1994.

AUSTIN, Texas -- We in the smoking community (we prefer to be known as "tobacco co-dependents" or "the lung-impaired" rather than by the tobacconist tag "nicotine addicts") are having terrible self-esteem problems these days. I'm sure all you health fascists are happy to hear this, but I'm warning you right now, our concerns had damn well better be your concerns because we're paying for health-care reform. . . .

Our growing list of non-negotiable demands now includes the manufacture and prominent television advertising of a toothpaste that will yellow your teeth. All this white-teeth propaganda you see all over the networks is a threat to our self-esteem. We want affirmative action in the hiring of television characters who will popularize the attractive hacking morning cough.

We want a Smokers History Week. . . .

I write this to warn y'all of the increasing unrest in the Smoking Community. If you're going to saddle us with the cost of national health insurance, we, by God, want respect and gratitude. That, or we form the Smokers' Liberation Movement.

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