|Jump to full article: Saint Paul (MN) Pioneer Press, 2008-03-13|
Author: Dominic P. Papatola
ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN rise from their seats in the audience, joining the trio, who are smoking. They stand there, motionless and smokeless. LINDA clears her throat aggressively.)
GUILDENSTERN: We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke and a presumption that once our eyes watered. . . .
Suddenly, Attorney General LORI SWANSON enters, brandishing the business end of an enormous fire hose. She surveys the room, which has fallen silent except for the slight hiss of ash hitting the beer-soaked floor and the sound of TOM hocking a tubucular loogie the size of Rhode Island.)
BELARIUS: The game is up.
(As the firehose is toted into the bar by members of the Association for Nonsmokers — Minnesota in hazmat suits, Swanson, who is not smoking, regards the room. She aims the hose at the stage and gives a nod. The hose becomes engorged. Just before the watery onslaught, her words can be heard:)
SWANSON: Years from now, when you talk about this ... and you will ... be kind.
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